It’s been confirmed to be a kidnapping. Our response is below. We will not negotiate!!! (Not that we’d know what to negotiate for anyway, since the so-called ransom note didn’t have any demands. Rookie kidnappers… that much is obvious.) One of their thugs is pictured below.
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| From Cuteness (???) |
Well, I’ve jumped on the bandwagon, considering how popular this Twittering thing is.
By the way, I’ve been seething quietly over chocolate thieves for a while. You see this?
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| From Cuteness (???) |
Why yes, that would be the chocolate that I won through a wiki contest. But who’s been eating it? EVERYONE in this lab but ME.
As much as I dislike the hopping fools, they don’t deserve this. That human needs to be slowly eviscerated. Where are those sharp claws when you need them!
So FASEE thought it would be funny if Tubby the Hippo sat on me. Tubby, being the dumb panderer that he is, happily complied. I told him to get the hell off repeatedly, as he was putting most of his weight around my THROAT and forcing the air out of my lungs with his fat butt, but he just droned, “Listen to the Customer!” I tried telling him that FASEE is not a customer; she’s a sadistic psychopath who clearly hates all animals, but I bet you can guess what Tubby gave as a response.
Don’t believe me? MASEE, who I’d considered friendly and kind (because he enabled my Australian stowaway experience) did nothing to help. Instead he took these humiliating photos. Can you see the misery in my eyes?
If I had claws, Tubby would be nothing but a pile of shredded rubber.