You know, it’s not often that I have a chance to leave the hellhole that’s this lab and this monitor. Given his previous kindness, I expected MASEE to take me to this… Virginia place for some conference. I was sorely disappointed when Saturday came, and then Sunday, and now Monday, and I’m still perched on the monitor grimacing while Tubby drones on and on…
Today was actually rather fun. It started out with shopping, where I met these creepy cats.
And then… I met a GIANT koala!! A GIANT KOALA!!!
I hid with FASEE inside a giant pelican.
And I got to meet a huge teddy bear.
Wish I could have a suit.
Later that night, I met some pilots over drinks.
I also got abused. Again.
Sigh. Luckily, that one bite was the worst of it.
This is one of the most traumatizing days of my life. Save me. Please.
It started off all well and good with the usual food court breather.
It turned into a garish nightmare very quickly.
I nearly got eaten by a pink monster. Did anyone help? Notice, if you will, the small animal protruding from the mouth of the smug looking pink monster. Notice also the cruel derision from FASEE. That’s a POINT-AND-LAUGH right there.
I really hate my life.
After I got out, her friend wasn’t much better.
That furball struggling? That’s me.
Yet another near death experience from which I had to escape.
You know what? I’m too upset to recount more.
The day started off well. I got to sleep in and then we went for lunch at this bbq place where I was surrounded by green. It’s not eucalyptus, but the sight of green leaves is comforting. And then… it turned into the most traumatic experience of my LIFE.
I met FASEE’s friend Amy, who had a sick sense of humor.
Not funny!! I bet she would have eaten the koala-baby cookies too.
Here I am, being forced to pose with dinner.
And then… that, that cruel FASEE decided to throw me to the dog. Literally.
At first it was ok. Just a lot of sniffing and pawing.
This was the start of descent into madness and chaos.
That’s my EAR!!! It’s NOT ok! Bad dog, bad!!! If I were fully grown and not made of plush, I would have swiped that little dog’s head so hard it would run away whimpering. What’s wrong with FASEE?? She’s such a sadist. Sometimes she’s so nice and then other times… does she think animal cruelty is ok? Someone call PETA, please!
The lab is unusually silent today. I’ve heard rumors that my-stowaway-experience-enabler (MSEE) is sick. I hope he gets well, since he’s never eaten koala babies. The female was in briefly but left for home. Leaving me, once again, to my inevitable demise. I peeked at her e-mail and saw that there was some campus incident involving explosives? What if stuff like that happens in this lab?? I mean, that computer tower next to me is always rumbling like it’s going to blow up!!
I’m getting far too bitter in this environment. I need to get away!