Institutionalized Koala Ramblings

Orientation: Normal

I’m back. Maybe when I’m in a better mood I’ll post more about my trip home.

I had a real chance for happiness with this female I met (with a baby! so cute!) but the human discovered me. If I had real claws, he would not have lived to gloat, but I have no appendages with which to defend myself. So the human won through use of much force, and now I’m back to sitting on a monitor instead of a ‘roo and wearing those fake human eye glasses to look like I’m awake.

Am I bitter? I should be basking in the early summer Australian sun, eating eucalyptus with my potential future mate. You try not being bitter.

Laptops that are the same color as me are superior to those that aren’t. Now that I’m finally back at a working computer, I’ll slowly get around to writing about the homeland during the few hours a day I’m awake.

Being back home has reminded me why my country is better than yours (I’m addressing the USian readers of my blog):

• The metric system. Why is the US in the same list as Liberia and Myanmar?
• Correct date formatting. Little endian or big endian dates make sense. Who thought of middle endian? Over here, 7-11 gave out free slurpies on the correct 7/11, that is, November 7th.
• Roundabouts instead of 4 way stops. They save on unnecessary wear on the brakes if there’s no one else at the intersection, while also stopping crazy drivers from ignoring laws and speeding through.

Sigh. I can’t remember why I left in the first place.

I finally managed to escape the lab and hitch a ride to the airport by sneaking into the bag of one of the humans in the lab. While moving my off my normal perch took a herculean effort, that was the easy part of my trip.

The very big jet that was my ride. Unfortunately, my flight was delayed in leaving when the operators refilling the jet spilled fuel all over the jetway.

I got a nice view from the emergency exit window. I couldn’t get my normal 19 hours of sleep though because a big human to my left kept crowding her oversized body into my seat and a little human behind me kept kicking the chair.

I contemplated eating airline food, but for once I’m glad I’m only supposed to eat eucalyptus.

That’s what you get when you take an airline run by a bunch of kangaroos.